5 Modern Monsters and How to Tame Them (Part 1)
My attempts to carve out more space, time and energy for the things that matter.
Note before you dive in: This is a long-form article. It covers several areas that really each deserve their own article. To make it easier, I’ve broken it up into two parts. This is Part 1. Part 2 is also available immediately if you want to read the whole lot.
Prefer to listen?
Monsters are after you
When I was a kid, probably like you or someone you know, I was a bit scared of what I was convinced were monsters under the bed. Where I got that idea I don't know. Probably some movie I saw (which, back then, was likely on a black and white TV! If you were born around 1960 you're probably old enough to remember those!).
Of course, there were no monsters, I know because I had a look one day. It was just all in the mind, as so many things are.
But today I want to talk about modern monsters that are quite real and that affect us on a daily and almost continuous basis. And if you ever want to live a life of simplicity, purpose and meaning then you're going to have to recognise and deal with these monsters.
The monsters are realities that make it difficult to have sufficient space, time and energy to devote to what's most important to you, to others, and to the world in which we all live. And so your attention, your day and even your money gets absorbed for you.
For us to live lives of joy, purpose and significance we simply need the time and energy to do so. The trouble is, these modern monsters seem to rail against us at every turn.
I suppose you could make things easier for yourself by going off to live in a cave. That way you have less to deal with. But I prefer to think about how we can get the upper hand in ordinary, everyday life. It’s where we live, after all.
If we don't recognise these modern monsters, and take steps to minimise their effects on our lives (which is a bit like locking them up in a cage so that they can only shout at us, but nothing more), then we won't have enough time or energy to do anything more than survive, rushing along like everyone else.
This reminds me of a saying I once read (but I can't remember where):
“If you don’t decide how you’ll live your life, someone else soon will.”
Yikes.
So, what are these 5 modern monsters?
1. Busyness
Being constantly busy, always having more to do than we have time for, never quite getting the to-do list completed, hardly able to stop and have a nice cuppa.
Busyness is the new badge of honour. You know, "How are you?" "Oh really busy at the moment. Got so much on. It's really hectic."
Rarely does anyone say, "I'm great thanks. Life's good, I'm feeling fine." Or, "Yeah good mate. Just taking it easy, focusing on few important things."
It's almost as if we're scared of looking like we're not always busy, not always frantic - at work, particularly.
I can categorically say, from over 25 years in the corporate world and 10 years in broadcasting, that being "really busy" never added one iota of value to a situation or outcome. If anything, it had an adverse effect.
Apart from the effect on outcomes, getting stuck in this hamster wheel is actually a recipe for disaster. Pretty soon you normalise the situation. No time left for listening to your heart.
Or anyone else's.
In fact, I'd go so far as to say that many of us keep ourselves busy because we're scared of hearing our own thoughts, should we slow down for a while.
"Being really busy never added one iota of value to a situation or outcome."
What can you do? Here's what I've tried that works well:
First, stop. Find a time and place to pull out of the rushing river and come to the side, out of the current.
Second, reflect: How busy am I? On what? Why?
Third, decide. What will you stop doing, stop committing to, or take off your plate?
Fourth, act accordingly.
2. Weariness
As a result of overcommitment, Netflix-bingeing or just having too much on, your energy will suffer and then so will everything else.
You get tired, and that affects how you show up for work or the people in your life. It affects your desires and motivations and when you're really weary it's quite possible to walk around in a state of almost permanent semi-numbness.
Is that the best way to live? Is that the best you?
Do you wake up in the morning feeling refreshed? Or do you stumble out of bed, feeling like dirt, immediately stepping onto the day's fast escalator sitting right next to your bed?
Now, of course, there are times when you just get weary because life has piled up several things on you at once, some you just weren't expecting. Like illness, or a loved one's illness, or your car broke down, or someone in your life suddenly needs your presence to deal with a big problem. Or, if you're the parent of a young child, then believe me, I get it. Everything can turn to custard for a while.
And I like custard. But not that kind.
Those things aside, the rest is up to you. You simply have to look after yourself so you can be your best self. Not a worn-out version of the real you.
Here's how I've approached this challenge. My suggestions are:
Watch your energy levels - if you feel them dropping, or getting weary, take stock.
Again, ask yourself, why am I tired? And go deeper. Ask, why is that?
Decide, what you can stop doing and clear the decks a little. Take things off your plate.
Then, choose to use your time wisely. While you might love endless episodes on Netflix (especially the fact that there are no incredibly annoying ads to have to wade through), make sure you get enough sleep.
In the end, if you have some big challenges on, then you need more sleep for a while. Sleep gives your body (including your brain/mind) time to deal with the extra load, and time to better recover. If you don't get enough sleep, you'll start to slide. So, turn off Netflix, turn off your phone and go to bed instead.
Protect your energy.
3. Consumerism
Now, this is a big one.
If you were to ask me what the biggest religion in the world is, I would say Consumerism. What I mean is that consumerism - the philosophy and practice of making, advertising and selling/buying stuff - is the dominant empire being built in the world today.
You only need to look at economies like India or China to see they're changing rapidly and it's mainly reflected in the improving availability, buying and parading of Western consumer goods.
In my opinion, the world's economic model of the free market is designed to keep the money flowing. And the money can only flow if people buy things, and keep buying them.
So, someone has to keep us buying and that's where advertising (including ads, endorsements by celebrities, and incessant 50%-off sales) comes in. The whole purpose of all of that is simply to get you to buy more stuff, more often.If you don't, the economic system begins to falter.
My own country, New Zealand (along with others like Australia, the USA, UK, and Japan) is positively dripping in advertising.
Now, you might think I'm being overly dramatic or reductionist, and maybe you have a point. But I'm convinced that advertising accounts for an awful lot of the frantic buying activity we see in shopping malls, the dumping of useless cheap goods that break down quickly and end up in landfills or out on the sea, and the visual pollution of billboards, bus adverts, magazine ads, radio and TV ads, online ads, ads painted onto the grass field at major sports games......just ads full stop. They're designed to capture our attention, then imagination, then desire, and finally our wallets.
I find it interesting that one of the more recent phenomena is, of all things, the hiring of off-site storage units which most people seem to need to hold their excess stuff because their houses can't cope! And these days there is lots of advice (in books, online courses and even reality TV shows) on how to de-clutter or at least organise all your stuff so it doesn't look like you have so much.
Now, I'm NOT at all on a campaign against having things. We should all have some things we need and some we really like, because they bring us pleasure in some way. In fact, I advocate buying on purpose (rather than on autopilot), buying only what you can afford, and buying good quality items that are well made and last a lot longer. For example, I have a musical instrument that I've owned for over 35 years. When I bought it, it was one of the best available and has been a pleasure to play for over three decades now. It's sounding better than ever because of it's quality.
No, the problem of modern consumerism for someone wanting to live a life that matters, is that rather than bringing us happiness and fulfilment:
1. It can soak up far too much of our time and energy browsing, shopping and buying - and the algorithms are very good at keeping us there.
2. It takes up more of our money that would be better used to pay off our mortgage/buy a house, start an enterprise, or even donate to worthy causes that make a real difference.
3. It can end up cluttering our homes and garages so much so that we never quite get it all organised, or we have no more room left or the place just doesn't look peaceful. That, or we end up using a lot of our time dusting, boxing things up, or maintaining stuff we don't need. Time that you could use on things that are far more important to you.
Not only that, but all that stuff ends up somewhere - it's very bad for our environment as you're well aware.
We're currently dealing with a massive problem on the world's oceans from the dumping of rubbish and plastic - a problem driven by increasing populations, the increasing production and selling of stuff, the non-biodegradable products we produce, and the economic model that fails to require producers of products to factor in the end-of-life waste management; it's just not their problem, it's the user's.
What can we do about it?
1. Increase our awareness of advertising - it's everywhere.
2. Recognise it for what it is - tempting us to want to buy stuff. Call it out when you see it!
3. Decide that you will choose your own purchases, not be affected by what advertisers want you to buy.
4. Buy less stuff. Buy it if you really need it, or if you really like it and it will add value to your life. Otherwise, don't.
That’s Part 1 - Busyness, weariness and consumerism.
Go to Part 2 - Financial pressure and digital distraction.
These three themes are part of a free PDF ebook called A Life That Matters…
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