Wiser Weekly #25
Learning to stay calm isn't bloody easy!
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This week, things went from okay, to bad, to worse. Frankly, it tested me and I had to pull out all the stops to try for the life of me to remain calm and work things through.
I’m not sure I fully succeeded.
In our lounge we have a fireplace and on the outside (see above) it’s clad in stone. It looks really nice. Kind of ‘lodgy.’
We wanted to simply redecorate our lounge and the first cab off the rank was to reclad the fireplace inside so it would (a) look better, and (b) match the size of the shelves we want to put up on either side. [Heart rate 75 bpm]
Simple, right? So the builder came the other day to check it all out and we found a leak. No major, but we’ll have to pull off the gib board to see what’s leaking.
So I did, and found…
…a lot of dark, wet wood and some rot. And I realised that this wasn’t going to be quite so easy. [Heart rate 95 bpm]
But, okay, these things happen I stoically reminded myself. And whatever happens, we can sort it out.
Yesterday, the builder comes with some new timber and gib board to begin work inside. He climbs up into the chimney through the hole I created and then comes back a few minutes later.
‘Bad news. The timber work is rotten due to significant leaking. I’m sorry but the chimney from the roof upwards will have to be dismantled and rebuilt. Both inside and outside. Including the stonework.’
I stood there frozen to the spot - my life flashed by. [Heart rate 120 bpm]
Over the next 30 to 60 minutes I pondered this news and I could feel my anxiety rising because of the money (Money issues do that to me). The money we had set aside for this simple $2,000 internal reclad had just risen to anywhere between $7,000 and $10,000. [Heart rate 140 bpm]
Now, let me ask you a question
What did I do next? Did I:
Sit on the couch, slouch backwards, stare at the ceiling, and moan about the horror, the cost, the frustration, waving my arms in the air and generally drowning in despair? Or,
Sit down, breathe calmly, and talk myself through what had to be done; start making an initial plan about what was in my control and what wasn’t and therefore what I could do about it?
You’re right.
#1.
(Come on, what would you do?)
But actually, I did both. I began with #1 and then after a while realised I was being pathetic, and decided to start working on #2.
#1 might be realistic and very human, but #2 is wiser. And that’s what I’m gunning for.
Now, as of today, I’ve found a stonemason who came and assessed the situation and reassured me it was all fixable and that we may even be able to use some of the old stonework. He’s yet to give me a quote but just going through practical steps made me calm down, take actual action, and move forward to a better place.
In a Nutshell…
The builder has been appraised and he too is confident it will be quite fixable and that he and the stonemason will work in together to make sure it ends up even better than it was before.
So while it will still cost me a few thousand more than I was expecting, it somehow doesn't feel as bad as it did in the heat of the moment.
How to Move On from Shock
Pause and feel what’s happening
Go find somewhere to let it out
Pause again and mentally separate out the facts
Focus on small, easy tangible steps to take
Take one.
Continue as required.
Shout-outs
Shelia Tippet has been a fan and a reader for a while now. Recently, she got in contact and pointed out that when she followed my instructions to make a comment she ended up in all sorts of annoying. Now this is very helpful otherwise I’d never know. So if you find anything that needs changing or improving, reach out. Be like Sheila.
Our wonderful friend Julie. Jules is one of the most thoughtful, kind and generous people we know. My wife is recovering from a replacement knee surgery and dear Jules came down to stay for a week and generally took over the kitchen and the companionship for the week. Reminds me that it’s not what you think or say you’ll do that counts, it’s what you actually get around to that matters. Be like Jules.
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👍 Thanks for reading Wiser with Rob Bialostocki.
Have a great weekend
Rob.
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PPS: If you have any problems with the above, or are forced to follow unnecessary steps, please let me know. Be like Sheila. I’ll try and sort it.